Optimal Living

Never Fight in Front of your Kids

This comes from a very personal, controversial and deep space in my life. I won’t be able to elaborate on my experiences. However, I wish to make people aware of and show them the kids perspective. Never fight in front of kids.

Disclaimer again, I am not an expert on this topic or a parent. I wish to talk on this due to personal experience related to it as mentioned in the first sentence. I would love to be honest with my blog. I mean these are experiences that have shaped me into becoming A Silent Observer. And as much I enjoy talking about positives in life and being grateful for everything in it, the experiences are something that helps me think this way or help me suggest ideas and ways.

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This is for the parents who fight with each other in front of their kids often. Now try to apprehend each word and read back the sentence. Parents-Fight-in front of-kids-often. I am not talking about parents who have constructive arguments in front of their kids where they solve issues and provide the kid with a lesson on how to settle arguments. I mean everyone has a difference of opinions and disputes are inevitable, so how you display it to your child or teach your child to solve arguments amongst yourselves is vital.

When I say fight, I am thinking about body gestures, the tone of voice even violence. God forbid if you ever have such rage with your partner that you have to fight with them to make your point I beg of you to not allow your child to witness it. Or if they have accidentally, you take the responsibility of explaining to them the situation and avoid fights in the future.

woooh this post heated up too fast.

A constructive argument is an ideal way to go about conflicts, if you have them, with your partner. In the heat of the moment never forget there is a piece of two of you in one in the room. Children are already trying to adapt to this world, consume their surroundings and learn from it all to develop into a grown person. It is so so easy to ignore this simple fact and just live on with our own lives.

Growing Up Shy

There can be good coming out of this. With my own experience, I can say there are chances the kid becomes independent, responsible and leans towards looking at the brighter side of things. However, it also scars them, consciously or unconsciously.

I am sorry if I have been waffling but I really hope it makes sense. I am considering the parents of minor kids, obviously because that’s the crucial foundation they grow up from to be a teenager. This is also one of the many aspects on what kind of teenager your child grows up to be.

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If the environment of love at home transforms into a negative one, the child then seeks external love. One apart from their parents. It is difficult for a nuclear family but if you have grandparents or uncles or aunts or cousins at home it can be fine. However, equal love and attention from both the parents are so essential. That’s the reason why people co-parent right?

When a child sees a fight between his or her parents often, self-doubt cultivates.

Lack of confidence, lack of someone to confide in develops. 

The child will lose his or her sense of security.

They question and blame themselves immediately. 

In worst cases, the child is made to judge an adult. They are made to find righteousness when they don’t even understand the concept of it. 

It is so easy for the people around to pity the kids of such parents. Or worse assume how they will grow up to be due to the influence. 

Some children might want to escape reality and they lose the interest of many things academically or for development. 

It becomes difficult for them to build a good relationship with people outside. They might grow up to have destructive relationships. 

The intensity of speech or violence can rub off on the child, making them violent or think or use words in a certain manner. 

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I would again like to add there is so much one can learn from all this like I did and be as responsible and constructive as any other person grown up in an emotionally strong and healthy environment. But precaution is better than cure. You don’t know what the future holds and so as a parent it is best to take the right steps than risk if you are meaning to grow your child effectively.

Emotional Habits

This post might not be for all parents or kids. Each situation differs. Maybe you can’t even relate and think this is incomprehensible. But there are situations where parents might now understand why they shouldn’t fight in front of their kids in the welfare of their development. I hope every family is happy and healthy as well as being able to develop responsible humans and individuals with great values.

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Thanks for reading! Hope it helps.

18 thoughts on “Never Fight in Front of your Kids

    1. Really grateful for it! I am so glad as an expert you found my points significant, I feel appreciated. Thanks for your support.

  1. This is very important and should always be considered. Fighting in front of kids leaves a long-lasting and harmful effect on their personality. Glad that you’ve shared this reminder to all the parents and even future parents.

  2. I agree completely! My parents didn’t fight much when I was a kid, but I really hated it when they did. I think the biggest thing is to be self-aware, and know when you might need to take some space. If you’re really mad at your partner, get out of the house, go do something else, and get some perspective…then come back and talk when you’ve calmed down.

  3. I absolutely agree with you! My husband and I rarely fight, but if D happens to be awake when we’re arguing we text haha. Or talk with a nice tone to each other.

    Can’t remember the last time we argued about something though, oh well. Thankfully.

  4. These are topics that aren’t spoken about much but it’s nice that you’re sharing. Domestic violence is horrible and displaying such acts in front of kids is a terrible idea. Kids learn by watching and observing. They also form an opinion and grow with it thinking that’s the proper way to live. I hope we all do better and be intentional whenever kids are around

  5. I’m not a parent but this post still resonates with me. Children are little sponges and so sensitive to everything around them – positive words and vibes are key when interacting with them or around them. It’s not just fighting – body image, good habits, all sorts of things are important! Charlie xo

  6. My parents very actively made a point to never fight or argue in front of us growing up. When they needed to have a tough discussion with one another, they would do it privately after sending us outside to play, when we were in our rooms or after we went to bed. Looking back, I feel like it helped us create a very safe, peaceful environment to grow up in as a kid.

  7. Thank you for sharing this. My parents fought non stop about money. It changed me and had a deep impact on my life and career. I try to help people reduce stress as a financial planner. I hope it leads to more peace in their home. I’m hyper aware of how we talk around our kids at home too. Even my dog can sense tension at home!
    Misty
    Notanotherthing.com

  8. I don’t have children but I can say that my parents never fought in front of me and –even though they divorced when I was young– they were always friendly and I admired that.

    Thanks for sharing! x

    Michelle
    dressingwithstyle-s.com

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