Being independent is necessary for your life. It is totally okay to ask for help. It is completely fine if you feel the need to see more people, talk with them, wanting them in your life, expecting from them, and sharing your life with others. It is only natural and is inevitable. But what if you can’t function without people around to guide?
With a normal physical and mental state if you feel the need to take help from others frequently or need emotional validation from others in your life often then maybe you are too dependent on people. Sometimes, life experiences help people become independent. However, some don’t have such experiences and always had people they can depend upon. There are ways to learn to become independent.
When you are independent, even with a messed up situation you know how to pick yourself up and carry on. You know exactly what you want and don’t need other’s opinion to achieve it. You know you can’t do everything yourself but your constant effort is to learn to do so. However, with the dependent individual, they usually feel frustrated about not knowing what to do and quickly resolve to depend on others.
It is so vital to know yourself in order to be more independent. You should know what you want and how you feel about certain things so as to make a proper decision for yourself. Embrace your own opinions, make your own points and stick with it. Reflect, journal or meditate to bring about consciousness. Understand your needs better, learn how you yourself can fulfill your emotional needs to feel more strong and confident.
Learn more about various things from basic to advance. Get more and more knowledge about daily life and particular topics in order to be wiser. You feel more confident and are able to judge effectively. You have less self-doubt and confusion when you have your facts right. At the same time, it is okay to not have knowledge about something but instead of feeling ashamed maybe allow someone to enlighten you or research about it.
Accept your emotions
Don’t ignore your inner feelings. Accept every thought from negative to positive. Learn ways to guide yourself through these thoughts. Know that your thoughts can be controlled and you are not your thoughts. You can make a conscious effort to understand what you need and feel so that you can meet with those yourself. What will calm my mind? How will I go about this with my own support?
Learn to be a planner, problem solver and a decision maker
I know it sounds so much but it isn’t. Again taking suggestions and help isn’t wrong but the execution has to be yours. You have to be the one who takes the final call. That is how you will feel in control and self-sufficient.
Be kind and grateful
It is quite a process and you will have others who will need your help. Independence doesn’t mean you can dismiss other’s need for you. Rather when you help others you learn more about where you stand and how self-sufficient you are in your own life. Always be grateful to the people who help you in this journey.
Take risks and challenge your beliefs
Allow yourself to take risks and try new things. Come out of your comfort zone to feel more confident. Challenge what you already know and try to broaden your perspective perhaps through meeting new people or discussing topics that you feel passionate about. Don’t always agree with what others have to say build your own opinions with the experiences you have by taking risks and challenges.
When you are too dependent on others, every little thing they say or when you don’t find people, at the hour of need affects you in daily life. To a point, you believe that happiness comes from the people you depend upon. However, once you feel comfortable alone and are self-sufficient you learn that you can make yourself happy. It is just a mindset.
The key is in understanding that you need to feel free. ‘Even without things a certain way I can deal with it. Even without certain people, I can do things. I am free and don’t need others to decide what is good for my life.’
How independent are you? What do you believe made you be self-sufficient?
Thanks for reading! hope it helps