Hey, guys! I have finally reached 100 followers (May 2017) on my blog, it must be nothing for some, but hey it means a lot to me! And thanks, everyone who follows me and read all my blabber! I have always wanted to bring value to other people’s lives and I hope I am stepping into succeeding on this.
For this post, I would like to talk about shyness. I have always been shy, introvert, confused and temperamental.
When I was little, I had imaginary friends who I would talk to, express my feelings to and play with them. One reason could be because I wasn’t allowed much to stay out of the house to play or mingle with the kids my age, so I resort to building my own imaginary friends. One thing I find it was best was because they responded as I liked them to, obviously because they are characters of ‘MY’ imagination. Another reason could be because I was very shy to open up to others.
I could never understand kids talking easily to adults. I used to be petrified. I could only talk to my family members but never have I shared my deepest thoughts with them since the beginning. I remember when my parents used to talk to other adults and I used to hang about quietly, (in my imaginary world of course) they used to believe I was a respectful child and that I don’t interfere with adults talking or listen to them like other kids, to later question about stuff out of curiosity. It could be but mostly it’s because I could not gather the courage to put my ideas or thoughts out through words and communicate them to others.
Kids these days talk to anyone so effortlessly. I know, after talking to someone or while talking to someone I used to have this doubt in my head that the person in front of me doesn’t understand my words or what I have to say.
Growing up, as I started being out alone more, such as interacting with friends in school or teachers, commuting by public transport to school etc gave me a little courage to speak often. It is not bad actually or I was not a sad person, it was simply that I was an introvert and enjoyed the company of myself.
I opened up more and more over the years after finding true friends who have always supported and who understand me. But the introvert struggles are for real!
I know when people think ‘we are scared’ to talk to them! Bloody no! It is just that we are shy to open up soon. Sometimes, I find people misunderstanding me to be less capable or being naive. Well, they are too stupid! It is just because, actually we introverts are intellectual beings and have a whole separate universe running around in our minds. Even if we know things and can judge people we act otherwise to simply avoid the matter of having to involve in conversations or small talks. Although you cannot stop us or at least me if you take me wrong or don’t understand what I am trying to convey.
I still struggle sometimes. I hate phone calls! I still hate initiating conversations with strangers. I do love talking to new people but again I am temperamental in it. My anxiety peaks during interviews to a point I don’t know what I am really talking about and stutter. But I guess that has also started to fade as I have become more knowledgeable and gathered a little self-confidence over the time with similar experiences.
Moreover, I love talking to myself in my head which I used productively to talk myself into being optimistic. Whenever I am meeting new people or even people who I have not interacted in person for a long time, self-doubt surfaces my mind and I keep thinking how do I look, what do I say, I am surely boring them or they are definitely judging me.
So I replace those thoughts by saying you are not perfect and nobody is if you look stupid then let it be because maybe that’s how it is and I would not want to pretend anything else. And yeah, it kind of has helped me in the long run.
If there are any introverts out there like me, know that you are not weird and unusual but you are different and exceptional. To the world that is so common and believes in being conventional in every aspect, it is great to be unique and quirky.
P.S I love my toddler pictures!
I hope it was a fun read and helped any introvert out there in any way, who struggle just like I did!
Thanks for reading.
This is not a sponsored post.