Optimal Living

Overcoming the common emotional hindrances in life

What are the emotional obstacles you feel the most and almost give in to the feeling? It is worst as they are something that destroys us from within. And so we need to conquer over these emotional enemies from within.
Emotions like fear, hopelessness, jealousy, and anger can’t bring us any good. They eat us from inside out becoming an obstacle for us to achieve things in our lives.

Embracing Your Negative Mood

Firstly, you have to accept your emotions and not deny it. It is not healthy to either store the emotions in or never yourself accept how you feel. This burden might not harm you today but with time it will create an enormous amount of emotional baggage. It can lead you to make wrong decisions, having to regret some choices or regret not doing something, wasting time on being sad when you could do better and keep you from living your best life.

Let’s take a look at a few common ones that have the most impact on our daily life and how to overcome them.
Also, a note that I am in no way any kind of a professional or expert but the ways or tips come out through my own experiences and what I have learned to cope with my own emotional hindrances.

Anger

We can be destructive when in anger. So before calculating how much the situation or person makes you angry, you should consider the extent of your anger and damage that your anger can cause. Maybe look at the bigger picture.
Express your anger calmly. Don’t speak when you are angry. Refuse to make any communication. You might say hurtful things that you may regret later. So take a timeout. Try to find solutions and not let it bother you much. When you think that it will not matter to you in a year’s time it will help you to not hold grudges. Silence or choosing to be silent will be the best when you are all fired up.
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Tension

Avoid making decisions when you are tensed. Express how you feel. Don’t stick with the feeling but try to find a solution. Practice deep breathing and try to calm your nerves. Worrying doesn’t help anyone and repeating what has gone wrong, how things went wrong won’t help you either.
You can easily slip into the chain of ‘what if’ thoughts but you have to eliminate all the ‘what can go wrong’ to go to ‘how to take control of the situation’ mind. Take control of the things that are in your set of management, take control of your emotions, become aware of your thought process. If you are not thinking positively then you should not take on any work or step towards fixing things.
If there is something immediate you need to handle then you should shut your thoughts and take actions with the help of others. Be patient with what you are facing as it is the only way out.
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Fear

If you have anxiety (like me) it is so hard to go about the day without feeling a bit scared to do certain things. Sometimes going out, talking to a stranger or having an impromptu meet with someone or as little as having to attend a call unprepared can all get you so scared that you could run away from the situation screaming.
Again breathing works! Stop imagining things but only expect good things to happen. Acceptance goes a long way here too. Once you accept it control your thoughts that are repeating the fear and focus on how you really want to conquer the fear. If you have to conquer bigger fears it would be effective to take little steps towards it.
My mum always told me ‘as long as it doesn’t kill you’ and I have applied the idea to every situation I become anxious about. You start thinking ‘oh what have I got to lose’ and then just already get past the feeling.

Sadness

When you are sad about something, you want to bring the whole world down with you. Is the feeling very strong or are you giving the feeling power to take control over your mind? Failure, loss, and breakups are part of life. You don’t have to move on from it the very next day. But also harboring the feeling of sadness for a longer period can lead to depression.
When you decide to let go of sadness there are many ways you will be able to get past the emotion. The will for it will definitely pave the way. It all comes down to having the right mindset. Talk to people, if that doesn’t help take help from an expert who can guide you right. Shift your thoughts to immediate things or keep a broader view.
Again when you feel sad you have to accept it. Maybe even cry it out. Don’t try to hide it or pretend everything is okay. Maybe expressing how you feel will become a way of letting go.

How to stop overthinking or how to let go of something

Jealousy

This happens quite often to anyone as even when you are at home with absolutely no human around you still can feel jealous while scrolling through social media accounts on your phone. Also, yet again when you are talking to yourself accept that you are jealous.
The world is competitive and it is totally natural for us to try to go one step ahead of our competitors. It encourages us to do better. But jealousy and comparing yourself to others only makes us feel bad about ourselves and mentally make a list of things we lack or fail at.

The emotion can be conquered with just the simple act of being grateful. Appreciate and acknowledge how far you have made it. Start to be more happy with what you already have, not just materialistically or wealth wise but also with your health, relationships and day to day tasks. Sometimes you just have to stop from looking at what could be better in my life to what could be worse and be thankful to all that you are able to enjoy.
As dynamic as every individual is their lives and achievements are bound to differ.

Attachment

Attachment to someone, to something and some ways, should be dealt with if it hinders your progress in life. I can’t go on without them. I can’t do without it. I have always done things this way.
This is totally made up in our minds. This belief can be instantly altered as soon as we discover something better and more efficient of people or otherwise. We think that there is no other way, there is no other person or no other thing that can replace what we are so attached to unless you search.
When something is not working out for you but you are still attached to it, it is better for you to look for something else. You are chained to things that bring you down or doesn’t allow progress in your life and the sooner you realize these attachments the better it will be to turn away from them and make some improvements in life.
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Indecisiveness

The key is to know yourself better. Practice meditation and breathing to find peace with your own mind. Know your inner desires. Start defining your personality. Ask yourself often how you feel about things.
Increase your knowledge in any and many ways possible. This will boost your confidence and make you feel more in control of situations. Exercising and being fit can help you boost your confidence as well. It freshens up your mind and allows you to have a quick opinion and control as you feel like you possess control over your body.
Learn how your indecisiveness affects you and people around you. This will help you remind yourself why you should be more resolute with certain choices. Have a stream of consciousness journal perhaps, that can help you know the inner and deep urges that will help you make quick decisions.

Give yourself a deadline to decide on things. Little subjects should be taken care of as quick as possible. Major matters should take longer but establish a deadline so that you do end up making a decision and not postpone or be undetermined forever.  Take as many suggestions you need from people or even let a few others share their perspective and share their decisions with you. However, you, in the end, have to make the final call.
Maybe go with your gut feeling! Understand that whatever decision you make may or may not work out it is part of life and decision-making process but it helps you learn and gives you experience allowing you to be braver with decisions later.

Helpless and hopelessness

You feel more helpless when you are more dependent and like mentioned before too attached to things and people. When you are helpless people make choices for you and you end up regretting it. There are almost a large number of people who still believe that life situations are not under their control and whatever happens they are bound to suffer from it. Partly, I believe that life does throw random circumstances that ‘You Have To Deal With’.
When such a circumstance arises people usually become hopeless and give up their dreams and desires. ‘I am the creator of my own destiny and I can handle any situation.’ Maybe believe in these positive affirmations and repeat it to yourself.
To a point, many are so comfortable in this hopeless feeling that they bask in its misery. Life doesn’t have to be like that you can push and try till you succeed. Maybe give my video on Hope a watch to restore hope in life and yourself!

This is a very holistic post. Do you think I should delve deeper into one of these emotions we face and how to overcome them? What are some of your experiences with these mentioned emotions? Did I skip any emotion that you would like to overcome? Let’s discuss down in the comments section. xoxo

Photo credit: Giphy
Thanks for reading! Hope it helps. <3

 

34 thoughts on “Overcoming the common emotional hindrances in life

  1. Accepting all kinds of different emotions is what I think will help the most, it’s good to have emotions. Accept and embrace them 🙂 these were wonderful tips, thank you 🙂

  2. No one is perfect so it’s reasonable to have feelings like these, we all feel anger or fear or even jealousy. We just need to find the patience and the strength not only to accept them but to deal with them as well.

  3. I hope people struggling with similar issues find this helpful 🙂 Strength, happiness, peace and love all come from within. It’s not easy to manage emotions, but the payoff when you learn how is worth it. xx
    http://missportmanteu.com

  4. I struggle with anxiety I love how openly you discussed this. I think anxiety and all of the issues you discussed could rob you of any enjoyment of life. It is so hard but so crucial for us to learn how to manage it. Using your tips is a great start.

  5. These are great tips and information. Letting emotion to control us is definitely not helpful. Learning to control ourselves is a skill we should all learn. Thanks for sharing

  6. I’ve got huge problems with accepting my emotins especially the ones of anger and fear. I think if I’d finally accepted them, I wouldn’t hurt my close ones. I also love how you described different types of feelings, it will help me deal with them in the future. 🙂

  7. Great post! I wish I had read this post BEFORE working today. Work was really busy and stressful today. However, I like the advice of thinking only positive things, rather than always the worst that can happen like I tend to do.

  8. First and foremost THANK YOU FOR ADDING BENEDICT TO THE POST [ he’s a hearthrob ]. Second, as someone who struggles with Borderline Personality Disorder [an emotional disorder] this is incredibly refreshing and a great reminder to breathe and accept. Love love love this

  9. I’ve got problems with making decisions and being too much attached to certain ways of behaviour and conditions. It’s a problem when you need to deal with some issues … as these things can really block you.

  10. As a person who has anxiety and depression, I can go through all of those emotions in one minute. When that does happen I have to take a breather and go back to whatever is causing my those issues. Great post.

  11. I loved your comments regarding tension. I work with a lot of students taking tests and their main obstacle is their nerves which makes them incredibly tense. I will repeat to them what you have wrote – thank you for the advice!

  12. You share a lot of helpful perspective. I find writing down my thoughts and emotions helps me get a handle on them. It’s definitely very important not to keep them bottled up.

  13. Little bit of patience does help tackle such negative emotions. You have elaborated well on them.
    Great motivating post.

  14. I totally agree with what you shared. This is very helpful to someone who is going through a tough emotional state. I just shared it with my local mental health advocates group.

  15. Having emotions is important in our life, but we can control it to make our life better, I imagine if people don’t have emotions, it must be plain, lol. But also we can make these patients, jealousy, helpless, hopeless, and anger motivate us for what we want in our life!

  16. The hardest thing that I have dealt with in learning to navigate my emotions has been simply learning how to acknowledge and embrace them. I’m not sure why we often feel compelled to repress things rather than experience them and sort through them, but it has made a world of difference in being able to address and move on from them.

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